Introduction for Brides

Ladies, let me first congratulate you on your recent engagement. In each chapter, I have also included a section especially for you, since, as you know, it is unwise to talk about the engagement without including the bride. This book is meant to be a guide for you as well as your groom. Even those of you who have been thinking about your wedding since you were a zygote will nevertheless find that there are twists and turns in the planning that you didn't expect. This book will give you some additional information to complement the knowledge you have already gained over the years, because, in the words of G.I. Joe, knowing is half the battle (the other half of the battle, by the way, is your parents).

I will also attempt to explain why your man has so many questions about the wedding planning, most of which must seem as moronic as asking: “Is peanut butter a country and Italy a sandwich spread, or is it the other way around?”

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